Yelena Belova (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
impossiblenottolike) wrote2024-08-11 10:25 am
impossiblenottolike) wrote2024-08-11 10:25 am
For endof_theline
[ooc: from here.]
Yelena was not nervous. She did not get nervous, even if she was about to have a big important conversation with a friend about maybe being something more. Even if she was pretty sure that she wanted more she did not get nervous. So whatever this feeling she was feeling was not nervousness but something else.
And so maybe she was making like… way too much macaroni and cheese. It wasn’t stress cooking it was just making sure she had lots of leftovers. Yes, that was it. And making sure that Bucky had enough to eat because he was a big, strong, kind, handsome super soldier who probably ate lots of macaroni and cheese.
She also did not change out of her comfy outfit of leggings and a loose top into jeans and a nice blouse just because Bucky Barnes was coming over. No she did that just because it was entirely practical to wear less comfortable but nicer looking clothes at a time like this. She was not sure how it was more practical but she was declaring it so.
If Bucky did not get here soon though she was going to start field stripping and cleaning her weapons just for something to do to take her mind off of this big moment that was definitely not making her nervous.
Yelena was not nervous. She did not get nervous, even if she was about to have a big important conversation with a friend about maybe being something more. Even if she was pretty sure that she wanted more she did not get nervous. So whatever this feeling she was feeling was not nervousness but something else.
And so maybe she was making like… way too much macaroni and cheese. It wasn’t stress cooking it was just making sure she had lots of leftovers. Yes, that was it. And making sure that Bucky had enough to eat because he was a big, strong, kind, handsome super soldier who probably ate lots of macaroni and cheese.
She also did not change out of her comfy outfit of leggings and a loose top into jeans and a nice blouse just because Bucky Barnes was coming over. No she did that just because it was entirely practical to wear less comfortable but nicer looking clothes at a time like this. She was not sure how it was more practical but she was declaring it so.
If Bucky did not get here soon though she was going to start field stripping and cleaning her weapons just for something to do to take her mind off of this big moment that was definitely not making her nervous.
no subject
"You're not scary. You're- outgoing and confident. You're this beautiful, lively force of nature that... I dunno. I just hope I don't diminish in any kinda way." He reaches out to brush her hair back. "I'm- a mess. I haven't been good for anyone in a very long time and I'm nervous that I won't be good at any of this with you- and I want to be. I really want to be."
no subject
“Excuse you, I am very scary in some ways,” she protested. That was probably the difference between them, even if neither of them wanted this sort of lifestyle Yelena did embrace it more than Bucky did. While they both wanted to help others and would use their skills if necessary she wasn’t as reluctant to embrace that role as Bucky was. In some ways, maybe a lot of ways, she enjoyed it. She had worked hard to develop her skills and was proud of them.
“I am a pretty big mess too. I have a lot of anger issues. So much anger. And I have never really been someone’s girl before. But I do not think you have to be any different than you have been to be good at this. Putting me in your lap and playing with my hair? Very good.”
no subject
None of that helps with his confidence either.
"Thanks. That helps. Hearing it from you helps. And- you're right. We both have issues. You just seem so... sure of yourself. Like you know who you are and what you like. You know that you wanna be scary, but you still tell me all about your feelings. It's amazing." He wishes he could be more like her, pretty much.
no subject
“I do have a pretty healthy self-worth that is true,” she admitted. Her confidence came from a lot of places, not the least of the which was the fact that she was a legitimate bad ass. But she also had the confidence of knowing that someone as amazing as her sister had sacrificed herself for Yelena. It hurt her heart to remember that but how could she not value herself so highly when Nat had?
“But that is because I believe all the great things about myself and have come to accept that I deserve them. Okay I mostly have come to accept that. You are amazing too, I think you just don’t let yourself believe that. But you let me believe that and I think that is good.”